It’s a really tough question: If I were driving alone, how likely would I be to stop and help a stranded motorist?
I had the opportunity to make this decision just a few days ago. I was making my 25-mile commute to work and happened upon a pickup on the side of the road. About a quarter of a mile down the road was a man in a coat, gloves and stocking cap carrying a gasoline can. It was cold – it was about 8 a.m. and probably 20 degrees – and he was probably a mile from the nearest gas station.
Because I couldn’t see his face, I didn’t stop. I almost did, and I really wanted to, but then I thought, “What if?” For the next three or four miles, though, I was mentally kicking myself. “He was probably perfectly safe,” I thought. “I would have wanted someone to stop for me.”
I am, honestly, ashamed that I didn’t stop, and to the man who ran out of gas: I’m sorry. But there is some degree of uneasiness around the whole “would I stop” issue. There are so many factors involved, there is no easy answer.
First of all, I need to take note of my own situation: I’m a single woman with two children, so if something were to happen to me, my point person would then become responsible for making sure my kids got to where they needed to be in case of emergency. This is true of anything I do, but why intentionally put myself in harm’s way?
Second, I’m a woman, plain and simple. No matter how much we’d like to think we are just as tough and just as capable as anyone, the truth is we’re the more vulnerable sex. As one man I approached at the airport told me, “Women need to be more careful than men do, they can become victims much more easily.”
It seems to be a universal thought. Both at the airport and in a quick random sampling of my coworkers in The Gazette’s newsroom, I received responses from 10 men and 14 women. The women, without exception, all had caveats attached to their answers: their assistance was dependent on the time of day, gender of the person in need of help and location of the stalled vehicle (on the interstate versus in town, for instance). Eight of the 10 men, however, were quick to respond with a, “Yeah, I’d help.” Of the other two, one wanted more details – was it raining or snowing, was he running late – while the other, as you’ll see in Monday’s On the Street feature, said he wouldn’t stop to help at night.
Finally, we’re in a mobile world in which darned near everyone who is old enough to speak has a cell phone. If I couldn’t stop, or wasn’t comfortable doing so, I would make a call to law enforcement or someone to let them know of the situation, assuming the dozens of drivers who passed before me hadn’t already done so.
So this is where we are. We have gone through so much and seen so much as a society that we are now afraid to stop to help lest we be the next victim featured on the front page of the morning paper or discussed on the evening news.