I've never reprinted columns here, but here's my Gazette column for tomorrow, March 21:
There's always been a little paranoia and attempted controlling when it comes to University of Iowa athletics.
It goes back at least as far as Lute Olson. Hayden Fry made it an art form, and it has stayed entrenched in Hawkdom eight years after Fry's retirement. Things may not be much different than at other BCS conference schools, but we pay more attention to the one in our backyard.
When Southern Mississippi or various high schools sprouted logos that look too much like Iowa's Tiger Hawk, the Hawkeyes called their lawyers and many of us snickered. The school's within its rights to protect its property, of course, and we're within our rights to think something is silly.
Thewizofodds.com, a college football site, learned Sunday night that the Iowa athletics department bought domain rights to seven potential Web site addresses a few months ago. The total cost was $674.82. The story quickly spread across Iowa and floated to the Chicago Tribune, ESPN.com, and Jim Rome's ESPN television show.
Why? Because it's good for a laugh. A derisive laugh.
Want to own firekirkferentz.com or garybartamustgo.com or fireliasbluder.com? Forget it. Those belong to the Hawkeyes, as do four other such handles.
The existence of firestevealford.com surely motivated that. The copyright to that site's address was snapped up in 2003. It's one of many firesomebody.coms that have existed in cyberspace the last several years.
That Iowa has done this, obviously, is ludicrous. If someone's going to waste their time and money to put up a fireourcoach.com site, ignoring it would be the only sane policy.
If you're trying to sleep in the Puerto Rican rain forest, will snuffing one of the thousands of chirping frogs make it a quiet night?
You can buy up 10,000 Web addresses, and someone will come up with a 10,001st as embarrassing as any other. The English language has lots of words, I'm told.
Let's say someone wants Ferentz canned. Firekirkferentz.com has been taken. So has kirkferentzmustgo.com. Will the tormented soul give up and read a good book instead?
Not likely. He (it's usually a he in regards to sports-related idiocy) can come up with something like the following:
fireferentz.com
firekirk.com
bootferentz.com
sackferentz.com
pinkslipferentz.com
Once the tormented soul gets his site up and running, he can lure fellow frothing fans, and they can vent to their hearts' content.
Not to knock the folks at firestevealford.com, whoever they are. But they launched their site two contract-extensions ago for Alford. So they haven't enjoyed the ``success'' that the founders of fireronzook.com did in Florida.
Easy as it may be to ridicule anyone who would take the time to create such a site, it's more fun to laugh at a university that would buy up the names of possible sites. I appreciate paranoia as much as anyone, but this thing Iowa did invites criticism a lot more than it muffles it.
If you believe in your product, how you're presenting it, and the people who represent it, you simply let any nattering nabobs of negativity natter away. If you have actual problems, buying up potentially insulting Web addresses isn't on the fix-it list.
Woody Allen once said paranoia is knowing all the facts. What, you're going to be bash me because I brought Woody Allen into this?
And stop following me!