OAKMONT, Pa. -- The hometown guy of the Gazette playing in the U.S. Open, Zach Johnson, shot a first-round 76 Thursday. That wasn't up to expecations, so let's not dwell on it here. Instead, let's give a little space to a guy who carded a 68 at Oakmont Country Club and had the audacity to call playing conditions "easy."
That's an Englishman named Nick Dougherty. He was born in Liverpool, which is more renowned for being the birthplace of a band of four long-hairs.
The Beatles, I believe they were called.
Dougherty, all of 25 years old, was once an accomplished flute player. His father, a big Beatles fan, traded in a guitar that once belonged to a young Paul McCartney in order to buy his lad a flute. Dougherty said Thursday that he wouldn't feel compelled to buy the guitar back should he win the Open.
''It's his own fault,'' Dougherty mused. "Can you imagine me asking for a flute?
"His general idea was because I was young at the time, he said, 'When you're on Tour, it will entertain you, to be able to sit in your room and play the flute.' You can imagine it, can't you? It's a great idea. TGI Friday's is much more fun.''
"The reason he got (the guitar) in the first place is because he knew Pete Best, the original drummer for the Beatles. I feel kind of bad. Yeah, you win some, you lose some, don't you? I'll get him something better. If I win this, I'll buy him something nice, a house or something.''
I sense an advertising campaign emerging if Dougherty wins this tournament. "TGI Friday's: More Fun Than a Flute."
OAKMONT, Pa. -- There's a five-way tie for the top at the U.S. Open. Three players are even-par through two holes, the other two are even through one.
None of the five will contend, unless you think this is the year of Craig Kanada.
Zach Johnson tees off 13 minutes from when this is being typed. Can he contend? Absolutely. Will he? What am I, Carnac the Magnificent?
But Furman Bisher of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has picked Johnson to make it two majors in two tries this year. The most popular pick among the media isn't Tiger Woods, amazingly, but Jim Furyk. The media, of course, drinks.
I'll update here in several hours. It's time to go watch Johnson combat Oakmont Country Club.