I need new friends. Friends with connections. Friends with power. Friends who can help make my golden years all the more golden.
So here's the deal. If you're connected and powerful (wealthy wouldn't hurt, either), invite me to your place on NFL Sundays and we'll watch a little football together. I'll give you the inside dope on what really happened at the Iowa game the day before, since I'll have been there in a reporting capacity. I'll know things that you'll love to know. Think of how smart you'll look at the workplace on Monday morning with this insider knowledge.
It's all yours if you simply steer me toward connections and power. Material things that I can use would be nice, too.
Everybody wins. Act soon. There are only so many Sundays this fall.